Mom Was an ODD Lady…Part Two

by on Oct 12, 2012 | 0 comments

Mom was an only child. Too bad. She could have used some allies. When Mom was ten months old, her real father left the family. About a year later, my grandmother married a very nice man named Jim. He was too nice. Jim either wouldn’t or couldn’t protect my mother from her mother. As the years went by and my grandmother’s mind deteriorated, only two people stuck with her: Jim, who suffered in silence, and my mother, who suffered at the top of her lungs.

Sometimes, you do not understand a book until the last page has been read. As I’ve said, Mom was one tough lady and that’s how everyone treated her, including my dad and me. Only looking back, after she was gone, did I wonder how she felt when the main man in her life deserted her at that cutie-pie, totally innocent age of ten months?

Only then did I wonder how she viewed all men when the first one in her life left her and the second one refused to protect her.

Only then did I realize I had never offered her what she always craved and never got — the totally unconditional love of a father. The kind of love that says, “I will protect you from the dragons,” “You are the center of my universe,” “It’s just you and me, kid.” That kind of love.

Only then did I wish I could sit down and just listen to my mother talk. No matter what she said, I would reply, “You’re right, Mom. You are absolutely right.” Not that I would have treated her that way all the time. But, sometimes, surely, sometimes.

Sometimes — no — all the time, it takes more courage than most of us possess to truly understand the people who are closest to us.

Love. Listen. Learn. Live.

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